The Foundation Wasn't Love — It Was Control . Part 2

Chapter 6: Love Disguised as Possession

We committed.
We made it official.
But it wasn’t love — it was ownership.

What I thought was the beginning of stability was just the next phase of his control.

At first, he showed up. He was present, engaged, even affectionate. But it didn’t last long. He started to pull away again, distancing himself emotionally while keeping up appearances. The fishing trips became more frequent, and now he had a duo to run off with, a pair of brothers who practically lived on the water.

Week after week, they became his priority. He always had a reason to leave, always had a plan that didn’t include me. But just when I started to question the distance, he changed the tactic and started inviting us to the “clean-ups.”

We’d show up late at night to their house, sometimes exhausted and barely functioning, just to sit in the background. My boy was so tired but if I tried to leave it would be questioned. I was stretched thin. But we were there, like a family portrait being dragged from room to room.

It was never about spending time with us, it was about proving something.
Putting on a show. Showing the boys he still had his “family”, got to do what he wanted without restrictions and convincing me that I wasn’t going anywhere.

The truth? Looking back.
It was another method of control.

If I was always with him, then I couldn’t have a life of my own.
No time for friends. No energy for myself. No space to breathe. Just raising my son and supporting him.
Dragged along like a prop so he could say, “See? I include you.”
But really, he was just keeping control and the deeper I got, the harder it became to recognise myself. Let alone see the control and manipulation.
I wasn’t thriving — I was shrinking.

The fishing trips, the brotherhood, the constant late-night gatherings — they weren’t about bonding, just trying to have it all and not have responsibilities.

And I tolerated it.
Because I had learned to believe that asking for more made me ungrateful.
Because I didn’t want to break the illusion for my son.
Because I thought maybe this time it would get better.

But it didn’t.
It just got more quiet.
More subtle.
More consuming.

Behind the smiles and the Instagram-worthy moments, I was fading into the background of my own life.

Chapter 7: Silenced in Plain Sight

I remember telling him, “Be careful.”
I could see it happening clearly — he was being used.

The people around him weren’t friends. They wanted his knowledge, his experience, the skills he picked up working on that charter boat. He thought they saw him as one of them, but really, he was just the guy who made things work.

I warned him they were only keeping him close for what he could offer — not for who he was.

He didn’t believe me, followed it up with telling me I was being negative and paranoid.
Brushed it off like I was just insecure, but the signs were there. The tone shifts. The quiet exclusions. The way he was always doing the work while they took the credit.

And then, it changed, Just like I said it would.

They dropped him completely. No explanation. No closure. Just gone.

He was stunned and I said nothing, because the truth didn’t need repeating.
He finally saw what I’d seen all along.

Then came the change I didn’t anticipate, an actual dad. While doing mum duties with a new born son, he stepped up finally. He started taking my son fishing with him, bonding in his own way. We felt like a family, for the first time, being supportive, even if it was once in a while but was still something. His business was starting to flourish again. But this was short lived, not even 6 months and it was only because of covid restrictions.

But we were still standing.
At least on the outside.

Affirmation

“I am no longer confused by chaos disguised as love. I deserve peace, safety, and real partnership — not emotional warfare.”

Prayer

God, thank You for revealing the truth — even when I wasn’t ready to see it.
Thank You for pulling me through confusion and control.
Help me break every cycle of manipulation and trauma.
Heal the part of me that once thought this was love.
And remind me daily: real love never demands my silence.
Amen.